Boldy Going…

The way I see it, the Leafs having the option to draft Matthews is a lot like the inner light episode of Star Trek The Next Generation.

The inner light episode sees Captain Picard getting scanned by an alien probe and having his mind pulled into a new lifetime where he spends the next fifty plus years waiting for something to happen, to end the drought and despair that he’s experiencing.

Does that sound familiar Leafs fans? 50+ years of drought?

BOOM. That’s how you fuckin’ nail an analogy.

Anyway, Picard does what he can to bring water to the crops in his weird probe world, all the while getting more and more comfortable with the depressing surroundings around him.

Everything idea being predestined to fail. If that isn’t trading for Tom Kurvers just to have the draft pick you gave up turn into Scott Neidermayer, I don’t know what is.

Picard settling into life in probe world is exactly like Leafs fandom to. His probe marriage might as well be believing that there was something special about the Quinn years.

His probe children might as well be all the times we thought that a prospect like Drake Berehowsky or Justin Pogge, or Alexander Suglobov would actually pan out.

The only thing that seemed to bring Picard happiness was his flute. And when probe world came to an end and Picard woke up on the bridge of the Enterprise, what was the only thing that was real in the end? The flute.

As you should clearly be able to tell from this analogy, the Leafs and their fans are Captain Picard and the flute is hope. And because all the best symbolic writing includes references to corporate farming, I’m going to say that Worf is corporate farming.

Anyway, after our tedious 50 years living out a bland nightmare, we’re finally reunited with our hope, our flute, our Auston Matthews. And I’m so excited for him I’m gonna drop a Captain’s log on draft day.


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