Stupid WHL Jersey Post I Promised Tom I’d Write

By @yakovmironov

Hello, old friends. I am back to writing on the internet through the wonders of social obligation. You see, Tom wrote a top twenty countdown of the current OHL jerseys on Monday, where he criminally underrated the Sudbury Wolves and ignored the fact that the Greyhounds have the best jerseys in the OHL.

Since geography dictates that I am a westerner, I have been asked (told) to do the rankings for the best part of the CHL, the wonderful Western Hockey League (aka that league that your third pairing defensemen came from).

Unlike Tom’s rankings, mine are completely correct so you don’t need to @ me with your takes.

Also for my own sanity, I’ve limited this to road jerseys since white jerseys are generally boring and life is too short to consider all the alternates.

22. Portland Winterhawks

portland

There is something quite familiar about this jersey and logo, like I’ve seen it somewhere before. The Blackhawks jersey has been called the best in sports by some, but ripping it off completely makes the Winterhawks one of the worst in sports.

There’s also the small matter of using First Nations people as mascots is a horrible practice that amazingly refuses to go away, so Portland really has doubled down on the worst jersey here.

21. Moose Jaw Warriors

We’ll stick with the theme of the bad idea of using cultures as mascots and go with the Moose Jaw Warriors next. At this point it really feels like it was a bad idea to make a WHL jersey list, but eventually it will get better.

moosejaw

Besides the issues with the logo, there’s the weird white arm rings, the boring use of black (which the WHL loves them some black jerseys) and the equally uninspiring colours of red and grey to round out a pretty terrible jersey.

20. Saskatoon Blades

saskatoon

The Blades are here because I expect more from them for reasons I can’t fully remember. I mean, Saskatchewan by nature should inspire lower expectations, but a team that has been around as long as the Blades and considered a staple of the league should have a jersey that seems forged in tradition, not bland tripe with piping.

To be fair, the Blades have never really done well on their designs, but having their players wear something that makes it seem like they were stabbed through the back is a little odd.

19. Lethbridge Hurricanes

lethbridge

Ripping of Carolina’s team name and the Capital’s colour scheme hasn’t exactly served the team well. It’s a pretty weak combination but at least they aren’t using Washington’s wordmark style anymore. I guess this is a baby step in the right direction, but when you could actually be wearing an amazing jersey instead it’s actually insulting.

lethbridge

18. Kelowna Rockets

kelowna

Black jerseys are generally terrible, add in the mysterious upside down devil horns on the collar and it gets worse. The logo is also incredibly stupid since it has nothing to do with Rockets and Ogopogo as a rip off of the Loch Ness Monster is equally insulting.

I will give it points for the trim at the bottom and teal is always nails.

17. Kootenay Ice

kootenay

I like to believe that not having Kootenay dead last is fairly hot take. It shouldn’t be in a league that has the Winterhawks and Hurricanes, but people really hate this jersey and logo.

The logo looks like something you’d find on a can of a crappy discount beer, which to me is actually endearing. The Kootenay Ice logo reminds you that no one is getting rich in this league and designs often come from the “artistic” nephew or niece of the owner.

Less appealing is everything else about the ugly blue stripe on a boring black jersey with terrible font selection for the nameplates and numbers.

16. Vancouver Giants

vangiants

I mean, it’s not really that objectionable, and that’s the real theme of the next few entries on the list. It’s a more limited use of black and it doesn’t have ridiculous piping.

Unfortunately it’s still a pretty bland logo and while there isn’t much to criticize, there’s not a lot to praise here either.

15. Victoria Royals

victoria

The blue is nice. The lame piping is not. That’s about the extent of nice things I can say about the Victoria Royals.

14. Prince George Cougars

princegeorge

IT’S A FREAKIN’ THUNDERCATS LOGO AND YOU MADE ME NOT LIKE IT BY PUTTING IT ON A BORING BLACK JERSEY WITH CRAPPY RED PIPING!!!

13. Prince Albert Raiders

princealbert

Pros: I like the green and that didn’t put their racist mascot on it.

Cons: Everything else. The logo is stupid, too much going on, and seeing it reminds me of their racist mascot.

12. Spokane Chiefs

spokane

I mean, it’s just the Habs jersey with a less iconic logo on it. It gets points for being a WHL jersey that somehow managed to avoid being black.

11. Everett Silvertips

Points for trying. While I can’t say I like the mountain range trim, I respect the effort. Green is nice, even if it is Minnesota Wild green.

EVERETT, WASHINGTON - OCTOBER 4: (Photo by Christopher Mast/Everett Silvertips)
EVERETT, WASHINGTON – OCTOBER 4: (Photo by Christopher Mast/Everett Silvertips)

10. Regina Pats

its_pat

Ugh. Somehow the Pats jersey isn’t further down the list. Maybe I have a weakness for script across the front of jerseys. Maybe it’s that the jersey itself is actually pretty good and does everything it can to overcome a weak logo. Maybe I’m just used to holding Regina to a lower standard. Either way, I don’t hate this…

regina

9. Tri City Americans

tricity

This jersey would probably be a lot lower if it wasn’t for the star on the hip. I love the star on the hip. Combine that with the fact that every player looks like a collector’s edition Top Gun DVD and it’s a decent jersey.

8. Red Deer Rebels

reddeer

Back to black jerseys. Hooray!

The trim is nice and it looks like a hockey jersey is supposed to look, with the logo being the star and free from distracting garbage on the rest of the jersey. I just wish they’d go with their alternates full time.

reddeer3rd

7. Brandon Wheat Kings

A team capable of producing this…

brandon1

and this…

brandon2

plays in this…

brandon3

and that makes me very sad.

It’s only because of my complete bias towards the Wheat Kings that they are this high on the list as a rational person would actually have them pretty close to the bottom.

This jersey is boring af, and in that sense it represents Brandon perfectly.

6. Medicine Hat Tigers

medicinehat

They’re tigers, so they are supposed to have a lot of black on their jerseys. They get a pass for that. The thick orange stripes also speak to my soul, as well as they way too detailed Tiger logo that really pops on the blank canvas.

5. Seattle Thunderbirds

seattletbirds

Memo to every team: If you are going to steal a colour scheme, steal from the Whalers. It’s fantastic. Add in a logo that respects First Nation’s culture instead of turning it into a caricature, and this was an easy choice for the top five.

4. Calgary Hitmen

For years the Hitmen jerseys have been underwhelming to me, but the latest design is pretty metal.

That being said, moar pink plz.

calgaryhitmen

3. Edmonton Oil Kings

edmontonok

It’s got a nice classic look to it while not ripping off a pro team. That’s not too shabby. My dislike of black jerseys also makes me love this while hating their black and lime green alternates with the fire of a thousand suns.

2. Swift Current Broncos

The Jersey = the likable thing about Swift Current hockey

Old timey logo and fun Whaler-y colours, it’s really, really good.

swiftcurrent

1. Kamloops Blazers

kamloops

It’s a classic. Like the Broncos and the Oil Kings, it’s a simple and beautiful jersey. Not too busy, no black, great logo, I like this a lot.

There you have it. The post is now done. I have filled my obligations and there is nothing more for you to read.

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1 Comment

  1. Did you even do any research when you came up with this post or are you just that ignorant?

    First of all, before you call the Winterhawks jersey a complete rip-off of the Blackhawks jersey, maybe you should have looked. The first Winterhawks teams were given used Chicago Blackhawks jerseys because the Winterhawks owners had connections to the Blackhawks owners at the time. Yes, the design isn’t original today, but there’s a reason behind it.

    Second, you ignorantly state Lethbridge ripped off the Carolina Hurricanes name. This is FALSE. Lethbridge was the first to come up with the Hurricanes name in 1987, TEN YEARS before the Carolina Hurricanes came into existence.

    Third, Ogopogo was a folklore that allegedly witnessed by the First Nations people in the 19th century. To accuse Native Americans of ripping off the Loch Ness monster is beyond ignorant.

    Lastly, The Regina Pats have changed their uniform. The picture you posted is of a uniform they haven’t used since the 2014-15 season. The fact you didn’t bother to look shows you just went to Google and found the first picture you could find. Great job.

    If you’re trying to be funny, you failed miserably. You’re clearly uninformed and ignorant of what you were posting.

    Like

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