This is the first of our new series where we will look at teams across the OHL. We will take a quick look at the 3 teams who have been hot lately, a team who has played above expectations and the team that is struggling most.
By El Seldo (@)
Earlier I showed you who I think the best mascots are in the Canadian Hockey League. This was mostly based on looks because I have only really interacted with the best mascot in the CHL, Bones of the Niagara IceDogs.
Today though, today we need to take a look at the mascots that would send even the most diehard mascot lover running away….
Stormy/Spyke – Guelph Storm
Stormy is the clown bear, Spyke is the dreadlocked stripe socked tornado. I, for one, do not want to hug a natural phenomenon that kills thousands of people per year.
Stormy just…gives me the creeps. It looks like it just walked out of a low budget soviet era eastern european kids show. This could just be me, but these two are not my bag.
Scorezy – London Knights
Your mascot has a paunch, London. All that fancy money and you couldn’t afford a mascot who’s in shape? Look, I’m not one to talk, but if I were a Queen I would not pick a guy who’s bursting out of his armour to defend my honour.
Maybe you should sell more fake game-worn jerseys and buy a new mascot costume.
Buzz – Sarnia Sting
Here’s one bee I wish was dying at an alarming rate. Why so angry, why the Klingon like ridges? Just because the logo is angry doens’t mean the amscot should always be scowling. Enjoy the game, sheesh.
Chuck – Kitchener Rangers
Why is Mike Babcock the Rangers mascot?
This is just the first of a few one this list, but don’t make humans your mascot. They almost always look creepy or horrifying.
Unless it’s the Human Being:
Sly – Charlottetown Islanders
He is for sure going to eat that old man. Like a true predator he picked out the old and weak to devour. I would have much preferred an anthropomorphic potato, but that would have only worked if they had accepted my submission for the team name: The PEI Fightin’ Ice Taters.
Huge opportunity missed.
Wild Willie – Moncton Wildcats
DO NOT MAKE YOUR ANIMAL MASCOTS LOOK REALISTIC.
This is a combination of cheap knock off looking, horrifying and stoned. The whiskers make him look like he’s falling apart. Mascots should be cartoonish Moncton, come on.
Lappy – Rouyn-Noranda Huskies
If this is how someone thinks a husky looks, yikes. If the mouth were closed it may be endearing, but those fangs are sending a message I don’t think the Huskies meant to send.
Digger – Kamloops Blazers
Looks like someone has been taking the teams name too literally. What is Digger supposed to be, anyway? A dog? A….puppet of a dog?
Shivers – Kootenay Ice
Shivers just wants you to remember one thing: Don’t you put it in your mouth.
Rroary – Medicine Hat Tigers
Roary isn’t that bad, I just hate that it’s name starts with two R’s
Hal – Halifax Mooseheads
Is this a Haligoonian? Should everyone from Halifax look like this?
WHY ISN’T YOUR MASCOT A MOOSE?
Sarge – North Bay Battalion
The one that inspired all of this, the potato-headed faux-human that is Sarge. Why? Why is this a thing? Even Boomer would have been a better idea than this thing.Is it supposed to be Stan Butler? If it is, this all makes sense.
Boston Raider – Prince Albert Raiders
Why? Look, if there’s one thing I’ve learned over my decade son this planet it’s one thing. DON’T USE OTHER CULTURES AS YOUR MASCOT. I get it, Raiders, you’re thinking Lawrence of Arabia, strong, adventurous, brave, but…sigh. Even the Oakland Raiders just used a football playing pirate as the mascot.
The worst part? It was introduced in 2014. TWO-THOUSAND-FOURTEEN.
At the time, a spokesperson with the team said the logo was worn on jerseys from 1982 to 1996 and later returned as a third jersey in the early 2000s. It was also a shoulder crest on the Raiders jersey from 2010 to 2013.
“The Prince Albert Raiders won a Memorial Cup in 1985 and fans identify with the logo worn at the time. It’s synonymous with the success and winning of the franchise,” Amber Pratt said in an email.
Oh, tradition. Thankfully the mascot was also benched in 2014 because IT’S TWENTY-FOURTEEN. Technically it shouldn’t qualify for this list, but I wanted to point out how terrible it was.
Listen, tradition or no, taking a minority group and making them your mascot to dance for you is just…not cool. I wouldn’t be cool a mascot of a pale freckled red haired goober with thick glasses named “Gingy”, so I’m not going to do that to anyone else.
Thomas Hawk – Shawinigan Cataractes
WHAT THE SHIT. WE JUST WENT OVER THIS.
The Cataractes were named for the waterfalls that are in the city. For years their logo was a simple C, or a flying C depending on when you look at it.
Then, in 1998, the team jumped on the “Using First Nations as a mascot” bandwagon (1998? Really?) and swapped the logo to a Native head in the C, then the full blown ‘Warrior’ logo we see now.
Why did they do this? I have no idea. There’s no reasoning on their website. There’s nothing in their wikipedia page. Googling it shows no answers. It’s jsut one of the mysteries why they’d make this move. Oh well, atleast they got rid of the ‘Flying Indian’ stature that would soar over the ice after each goal.
I apologize for the nightmares you’ll all have over the next few days, but bad mascots awareness needs to be made.
By El Seldo (@)
Mascots are the best. If you are one of those people who absolutely refuse to even smile at a mascots wacky antics, then this post isn’t for you, but then again fun isn’t for you either.
I’ve always been a mascot fan, one of my earliest, foggiest memories is meeting Toronto Blue Jays mascot BJ Birdy at a St. Catharines Blue Jays (former Toronto Blue Jays single A affiliate) game when I was 3 or 4. Sigh. I miss having that team here.
Trips to Disney are never complete for me unless I harass a character with my fanyboy squees of delight, my last trip was highlighted by meeting Stitch and him trying to eat my nieces stuffed giraffe.
Of course, this carries over to the CHL games I’ve been to. Bones, the Niagara IceDogs mascot, is one of the best I’ve seen live. His ability to get under opposing teams skin is so good Stan Butler of the North Bay Battalion threw a hissy fit and refused to ice his team until Bones was removed the arena (he has someone ejected from every game in Niagara).
Seriously, Stan Butler is a giant baby.
Anyway, back on track, I’ve compiled my list of the best CHL mascots you can find. It’s not in any particular order, except the last one, it’s the best. In the next post we’ll see the worst of the worst of the mascot world.
Shooter – Erie Otters
He’s an otter, which in itself is awesome. Everyone loves otters and they managed to make the mascot look like the logo, but not making it look incredibly angry or scary, which is key. Those yees though do give the impression he’ll mess you up if need be. I give Shooter 3/5 squeezes.
Charlie Horse – Barrie Colts
A horse in a kilt. The kilt puts Barrie Charlie over Swift Current Charlie (yes, their mascot is also named Charlie Horse). Barrie Charlie is also taking his job a little more seriously than SC Charlie, so he gets the nod here. Charlie gets 2/5 squeezes, because I’m wary he’ll kick me in the junk if I approach from the wrong angle.
Tirobut – Drummondville Voltigeurs
While a Lion isn’t a soldier as the logo depicts, it’s a better choice than a potato headed humanoid mascot they could have chosen. He gets 4/5 squeezes, and they’re hard ones too because I won’t be able to understand what he’s saying when he complains. His slightly googled eyes and stuck out tongue really help his case here.
Bomber – Windsor Spitfires
I saw him and my mind went right to the story that he’s a 1930s/40s actor who used to star in World War 1 films and is now out of work, and he talks like Phil Hartman in this sketch. One of the very few human mascots that isn’t horrifying, and that’s an accomplishment. My only complaint is that the Spitfires were fighter planes and his name is Bomber…this is a Senator/Centurion situation.
I wouldn’t squeeze him, but I would salute him.
Farley – Calgary Hitmen
Those cheeks are so fuzzy I want to squoosh them. Farley is also the mascot most likely to get his own panel at a Furry convention. Farley is pretty foxy if I may say so.
Flying Wolf – Sudbury
Okay, not a mascot in the strictest sense of what we’re going for, but having the wolf soar over the ice howling after each Sudbury goal is amazing, and I’m happy to say I’ve seen it in person.
Mortimer J. Moose – Moose Jaw Warriors
When in doubt, give someone the middle initial J. Mortimer is a kinda weird name, but when it’s alliterative it works just fine. Morty is the namesake of the city the team plays in, and thankfully they didn’t go full Cleveland with the mascot.
He looks like a fine moose and thankfully they made his antlers small and manageable.
Wooly Bully – Red Deer Rebels
Wolly Bully is a fine looking mascot, a fearsome creature that thankfully was made into a friendly, cartoonish costume. It’s also good he doesn’t mind wearing a picture of hs skull on his chest. Makes him more badass, like a prairie pirate.
Poke Check – Saskatoon Blades
You could go two ways with a sasquatch mascot, thankfully Saskatoon did it the right way. Blue skin, fluffy white fur, and big wonder-filled eyes makes Poke Check (the name needs work) a great mascot.
It’s just too bad he’s been pulled out of his natural habitat, but their original idea for a mascot, ‘Stabby’, an anthropomorphic sword, was rejected.
Marty – Victoria Royals
I know he’s a marmoset, but he looks like a cuter version of Shooter the Otter, and this is more than enough to put him on the list.
Winger – Tri-City Americans
My favourite of all the Eagle mascots US based teams use, Winger is the pompous bravado-filled air force pilot stereotype we all know. He poses with his fans, and assume the team is based around him. He’s Sam the Eagle’s less modest cousin.
Bones – Niagara IceDogs
Come on, you think I’d name anyone less? When it comes to rubbing your butt on the glass beside the opposing team’s bench, dumping popcorn on away fans, or making the children and the Prime Minister squeal with delight, there’s no one better out there than Bones.
There are the best mascots the CHL has to offer. Offended I didn’t mention your team? Tough beans, tell them to step up their game.
Hockey Canada has released the roster of players selected for the upcoming 2017 World Juniors Tournament. The list of players included 30 Canadian Hockey League players. Nine of those players are from the Ontario Hockey League Despite CBC listing Michael McNiven/Owen Sound Attack as a WHL team). We thought it might be a fun idea to see how these players would look on classic National Hockey League cards. We chose to use 1990-91 Upper Deck cards. Sure, these cards were released about 7 years before these players were even born but this post is obviously intended just to be a fun one.
To see full list of players selected feel free to check them out at the CBC site here. Feel free to remind CBC that the Attack are still in the OHL.
Here are the OHL players on this classic series of NHL cards. Enjoy!
Hello, old friends. I am back to writing on the internet through the wonders of social obligation. You see, Tom wrote a top twenty countdown of the current OHL jerseys on Monday, where he criminally underrated the Sudbury Wolves and ignored the fact that the Greyhounds have the best jerseys in the OHL.
Since geography dictates that I am a westerner, I have been asked (told) to do the rankings for the best part of the CHL, the wonderful Western Hockey League (aka that league that your third pairing defensemen came from).
Unlike Tom’s rankings, mine are completely correct so you don’t need to @ me with your takes.
Also for my own sanity, I’ve limited this to road jerseys since white jerseys are generally boring and life is too short to consider all the alternates. Continue reading
By Tom Hunter (@)
Over the weekend I found myself discussing OHL jerseys with a couple friends. I was pouring over the Black Friday sales on team websites and began to lament the fact that my collection of league merchandise was severely lacking.
Yes, the man who owns two different Cal Clutterbuck OHL jerseys – one from his time with both the Majors and the Generals – just claimed to not own enough OHL gear.
The discussion quickly turned to who has the nicest jerseys around the league and Taylor Sedona Clark told me I should rank all the jerseys – so blame her, this is all her fault.
There are some beautiful jerseys in the OHL, but there are also some horrid ones – that said the worst of the Ontario are still probably top-5 in the WHL.